A battle against despair
Hello everyone. So, when I started this site, I promised to be transparent and write with integrity, so here goes.
Yesterday I had my biggest challenge of the New Year. Due to very very unforeseen circumstances regarding my accommodation, I am having to cut short a most wonderful, dreamy, relaxing holiday in Australia and fly back to the UK.
I woke early today feeling dreary and dismal. I sit here typing about hope when I am struggling to find any. I do not want to go back home; I was going to extend my stay and instead I am paying extra money to lose a great chunk of my holiday.
So my recipe for hope today is the choice to make the best of a bad job. I have several items on my wish list, some of which may be done, some may not. I do not feel in the least but hopeful-I feel sad and grey. But I choose to hope that I will be able to do some lovely things before I fly away.
It is trite to say I will count my blessings, because at this moment I do not want to. I will say that I do not wish to inflict my negative frame of mind on those around me, so I will try my level best to enjoy what I am doing each day.
Gritty perseverance is being put into play today against the feeling that everytime I am happy it is snatched away from me. It is okay to be disappointed, it is okay to feel sad, but I will still try to pursue a hopeful path nonetheless. Hope in the face of emotional pain.
I am learning many things from this hope journey. I would today describe hope as an attitude rather than an emotion and this involves a choice.
And just to add I poured out my heart to Oscar my beautiful furry friend last night. He looked up at me with his oracle eyes and spoke in cat language that he understood. And I know he did.
I truly appreciate people reading and liking my posts. It makes me feel this site is worth writing.
Let’s battle on hoping X