Managing our expectations

Yesterday I had the privilege and honour of speaking on UCB 2 on the Samuel Ball show

https://www.ucb.co.uk/samuelball

This is a wonderful inspiring show, full of hope stories. I was so encouraged by the friends and family who cheered me on and sent me lovely messages of support before and after the show. And this got me thinking. I then had a lovely chat with my friend Helen, who also writes on this blog. Helen deserves a massive shout out for her support and wise advice throughout the time I have been writing this hope adventure. I also want to shout out to another friend Amanda, who has cheered me on too.

Helen has inspired today’s post. She said to me that friendship is about being one another’s champion’s. I think this is a fabulous way of viewing relationships. Essentially it comes down to being supportive, being there for one another. I must admit as I have dyspraxia, I am not always the best at this. Dates and times are not my forte and therefore I am not always great at remembering birthdays and I am going to try to get better at this.

In the afternoon I went for an inspirational walk with my mum. We were chatting about the concept of championing our friends. We spoke about sports days and how children feel when their parents don’t show up. Disappointed and sad. It came to me that what children remember isn’t about the winning, it is about the team of supporters cheering on at the sidelines.

This has made me think of the contribution we play in one another’s lives. Invariably people will let us down. They will disappoint us, for whatever reason. None of us is perfect, none of us always gets it right. We try to do our best and sometimes we fail. And that is okay.

We are all special and unique. We have a wonderful part to play in life. And we all have events that are very meaningful; birthdays, weddings, sports days, public events, Zoom calls. I think it is important to put ourselves in other people’s shoes. For those of us who may not have a partner or children, friends become in many senses our family. And therefore it is very important to make the effort to listen, to ring, to write, to show up (in a socially distanced way of course).

When I think about Jesus I feel like he showed up and he also noticed people who were overlooked. like Zacchaeus who was in a tree. I ask myself-do I do that? Do I notice people? Do I actually care?

Hope is about managing our expectations. To know that we and others fail is part of life. However we can all improve, we can all say sorry and move forwards, learning lessons that need to be learnt and changing our behaviour that needs to be changed. Hope is about finding an equilibrium and not being too hard on ourselves or other people.

Today’s recipe of hope is to consider our friendships. Do we show up? Do we make excuses? And if we are involved in other people’s lives, let’s do something to make that person feel special. My dad bought my mum a huge bouquet of flowers for their 43rd wedding anniversary yesterday. He remembered and my mum felt like a Queen.

May you feel special, cherished, valued and loved today and over the coming days X

Published by hope2020exchangingdisappointmentforhope

I am a qualified social worker and run a community project for vulnerable adults. I am passionate about social justice. I feel that every life matters. No-one is insignificant or invaluable. I also believe that everyone has the power to change, although some may not wish to. Essentially, I believe in hope. Hope Wells is my writing name.

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