I am coming to the end of my series of practical tips on helping anyone who finds themselves in the same position I did, of having to care for someone who has suffered a stroke. I hope these have been helpful over the past weeks?
Today, I want to focus on the powerful force which keeps you going in caring for someone in any capacity and this is love.
We are surrounded by so much hate and terror in the news and rarely do they report on anything positive. I don’t agree with the way the news has handled this pandemic; I think it has filled people’s minds with fear and the media have turned on the ones who are trying to help. Governments aren’t perfect, but rather than tear strips off a person, why not thank them for all the good they are doing.
This brings me on to my point about love. I believe love is more powerful than hate. It causes men to lay down their lives for loved ones, mothers to go to extraordinary lengths to protect their children, lovers to come together no matter what others may think and friends to be the source of loyalty throughout the decades. It is the glue that binds us all.
W H Auden writes beautifully in his famous poem, Funeral Blues. In Four Weddings and a Funeral it is one of my favourite parts of the film. Matthew pays tribute to his long term partner and friend Gareth who recently passed away. I have included a clip of the film and the actual poem. (In the church, Gareth’s mother and father look heartbroken, as do his close friends). This is the love I speak of.
When you love someone who is your world caring for them is your greatest privilege. In today’s society we are quick to run from caring for people but I believe and know this is the most powerful force we have in our world today.
One day you will look back on this and be so proud of what you have achieved. Caring for my mum was one of my greatest life moments and something I now cherish. She was worth it and I am sure you feel the same for the person you are caring for.
Keep it up, although I know it is terribly hard. You are doing a great job.
By W H Auden
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
scribbling on the sky the message ‘He is Dead’.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves;
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.