If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got

I have been thinking a great deal about feeling on the outside recently. I love the paper I discussed yesterday which speaks of ‘insiders’ and ‘outsiders’.

We live in a world where there are accepted cultural norms; Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas. However, these have a focus on couples, families and relationships. Valentine’s Day too, is the same. So for those people who do not have children, is there a single’s day? No there is not. Why not? Because that isn’t felt socially acceptable. There is a message given that single people are on the outside. Which isn’t true, however it is true because British society does not celebrate being single. Facebook is the same; there is a world shown which is an ‘ideal’ but not all can fit it, not everyone has photos to share of family life.

I like to question things. I like to challenge the status quo and shift people’s thinking. There is nothing wrong with celebrating; it is beautiful to have family weddings, children’s birthday parties and other wonderful days. But there are many who are alone, sad and bereft.

And maybe there are those reading this who do not feel they fit in. For whatever reason your face doesn’t fit. I remember when I was working somewhere and it felt there was no room for me in the team, there was someone who wanted to take the lead and there was just no space to manoeuvre. So I went to another team and did something else, which led to great things opening up. And that is what today’s title is about. Sometimes we keep trying something and it isn’t working. We can get upset, feel pushed out, or simply accept the fact it isn’t working, move away and try something different somewhere else. There is a time to persevere and there is a time to stop going around the same mountain as the saying goes. It is knowing which is the right one.

I think knowing when it is time to leave a situation is when it just isn’t working and is hurting you. You have tried your best, you have given your utmost and somehow you know this is not ‘your tribe’. I think we all know when we have found our tribe. I have been sharing recently about the foodbank I work at and I feel a sense of belonging there. I run my clothing bank which has been a dream for many years. It fits and I fit. And I don’t have to try to be anything other than who I am. It works.

I would appreciate your comments on today’s post. For me hope is very genuine and real and I try to model this. Hope knows when something doesn’t feel right. She says “this isn’t the best for you”. I believe we should live our best life and that isn’t necessarily what others think we should do or be. It is being true to ourselves.

Today’s recipe of hope is to consider whether you are in the right place, with the right people, in the right job. If not, it is okay to question if you want to do something different. Are you always doing what you have always done and is it making you happy? Do some soul searching. And if you are happy and in the right place, you may like to offer your wisdom to other people. It is beautiful to share our hearts with friends.

May we all find our true tribe X

Published by hope2020exchangingdisappointmentforhope

I am a qualified social worker and run a community project for vulnerable adults. I am passionate about social justice. I feel that every life matters. No-one is insignificant or invaluable. I also believe that everyone has the power to change, although some may not wish to. Essentially, I believe in hope. Hope Wells is my writing name.

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