On endings

I have been reflecting a great deal over recent days about endings. And I am convinced that we must not steal someone’s ending. What on earth do you mean by that you may be asking. I will explain. And, as always, please feel free to disagree or comment. Because these are only my views and I love to hear from you wonderful readers out there.

So, to explore. What I mean by stealing an ending is to take over something that someone may be finishing and finish it for them. This I feel is disrespectful and hurtful. There may be reasons for this, but not to discuss it with the person concerned is simply not okay.

I have decided to consider how people may wish to do things. So if someone is moving and I am involved, then I will not throw things away without checking. I feel for those with hoarding issues that the ultimate pain for them is someone else taking their right to decide how to deal with things. Hoarding is of course an illness and needs professional support.

I also think that attachment to objects needs to be respected. Some people have no attachment to objects. Others have a great attachment to them. So everyone is different. I find it very painful if my things are not respected and that is a lesson for me in how others may perceive their possessions too.

And on endings as in a move, this is a hard process so let us give each other support and kindness. I have a terrible memory of someone throwing things away for me, just to get things cleared. This simply hurt me more than it helped.

Has anyone had a really good ending they would like to share? I am unable to think of any and a series of painful ones bubble up when I consider this topic.

Some of us like myself are extremely sensitive souls and can feel trampled down very easily. I write this not to criticise but merely to ask us all to consider caring for other humans in the best way we can. Because we are all in this strange thing called life together.

2 Comments

  1. Much of what you say here resonates with me! I lost my eldest sister and my mum when I was a young adult, both from breast cancer. The grieving pocess, for each, took me decades rather than years. Other family members said I should not keep trawling over the past, as my own mental health was suffering, and I felt “wrong” for doing so. Yet still I was clinging to my memories, good and bad, unresolved as well as straightforward.
    It is only recently that I have really started to make sense of my own complicated life story, and my relationship with my own body. I have been able to do that through therapy, through dance movement meditation, and through life-writing practices, which I now facilitate with others. In exploring self-expression and my unique voice I am able to celebrate my life experiences, the dark as well as the light, rather than casting myself as victim, the “poor sensitive soul” in the family. I am going forward ‘in my own time’ into improved relationships with my family members and my friends. I feel that I have agency over my own history, and authorship of my own story, which I am free to share (or not to) at my own rate.
    Through my practice of © writing our way whole ©, I am expanding my ‘companioned life-writing’ to work with others on the process of sharing their truth just as fast or slow as they want.
    *** Here’s a flavour: https://writingpresence.com/2019/11/25/writing-exercise-threes-of-things
    I totally agree that it can be painful to “get rid of” what matters to us before we are ready, “Letting go” needs to be a positive choice, including letting go of our attachment to things, people, beliefs. More like emerging from the skin of the chrysalis, spreading our new wings, flying.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My apologies for the delay in responding to your beautiful reply. I have had some significant endings going on recently. When I was writing I thought of you and I was not surprised when you responded with your usual beautiful mellifluous rainbow tones and hues of response.

      Life is and has been excessively complicated over recent days and weeks, but I have started to make sense of it through writing primarily and lots of soul searching.

      I have been freely and joyfully letting go of lots of objects recently and I have realised that to do so is liberating beyond words.

      “letting go” is in my view very much about embracing freedom and leaving the past behind.

      Thank you for your beautiful support X

      Like

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